give or take

i need a day where i’m buried underneath sheets with no reason for my head to resurface the world. where there’s permission to forget a birthday. where my time is my time and not people’s lives on the line. I let my feet dangle off this bridge and let my mind ponder what the water holds underneath, understanding i’ll find out eventually whenever need be. in no rush to reap the consequences of all the ends to the means. no numeric values hold value to my values. i’ll be honest; I don’t really pick up the phone like I used to, trust I don’t have it in me to read your messages like you’re used to. rest assured, I haven’t been the same; the rhythmic pulse has lost its beat. I know my time is running out, hourglass with sifting sand that isn’t my figure. the last time is never the last time while the last time never feels like the last time. doing right by the girl in the mirror.