palms up

in my nightmares I see thousands of empty palms that are mine to fill. they’re grabbing onto my sleeves and holding on and, i’m trying to not let them go. but as I walk further into the horizon i find myself drowning in worldly values that I don’t call my own. I hear my friends shout proclamations of love and I see the world around me shake with laughter and these hands, start to let go of me. palms sink underground into the abyss that they came from. I let go of their hands absentmindedly and begin to find another pair fitting my own. and I watch the hearts I dedicated my life to slip from the palms of my hands. i’m beginning to accept that I was not meant to live in a world like theirs but i’m scared one day, i’ll lose hold of the very palms keeping me alive.