sitting duck

I didn’t edit this, I don’t want to read it over. read this with the thought of feeling like this everyday of your life, with everyone. and we’ve been introduced. hi, i’m sayeda :)

sitting duck at every table with my hands folded at my lap, awaiting, the approval, the smile, the glance to make sure i’m still there, anything, something, hands folded at my lap waiting not to be adored but to be acknowledged. tell me. my existence isn’t a bothersome. im not breathing too hard at this table. im tolerable, shit, I think i’m breathing too loud. am I taking up too much of this seat? maybe you were expecting someone else? definitely not me. mindlessly tapping my foot waiting. just give me something. a nod in approval, a second glance, anything but the look in your eyes right now. okay im leaving. notice i’m gone, notice i’ve left, please? look at the empty seat, remember my existence, my name on your mind like a song you can’t get off your mind. i’ve left, not really, please notice im gone and tell me to come back. please???